Week 7 CFB 2011 (2 Pigs on a spit!)

Faithful readers of this blog, I have created a new poll on the left hand side of the site that asks you to vote for your favorite team. I am trying to gauge from the viewership where your rooting interests are, so I can make sure your team gets a mention periodically when they deserve it. Please vote today so I can give your team props or abuse!

I have been revered in the circle of men who do not get the same allocation of hall passes for college football entertainment as I do (believe me there is a price to pay). I have been loathed by the wives of friends who I encourage to attend tailgates and games with me and blow off family and spousal responsibilities. Nonetheless I was taught as a kid no matter how good you are at something, there will always be someone better than you. And Friday night at the San Jose State tailgate, I met tailgate royalty, and I bow down in humility in his presence. I was introduced to the man who is hitting 30 games in 30 different stadiums this season! 15 stadiums already down with 15 to go. Several triple header weekends and double headers all accomplished over 15 weeks. We at the tailgate conferenced and decided one of three things: A - He is a multi millionaire with no financial worries, B – He has no job and this is what he does for kicks and hitchhikes around the country, mooches food at tailgates and sneaks into the stadiums. C – His wife has disowned him or shortly will, and he doesn’t care. Whatever the case, you have my utmost respect Mr. CFB Traveler! Send us an update as you hit each stadium and we will track your progress.

Tailgate update – Friday’s annual “Men of Laurelglen” San Jose State tailgate and game vs. Hawaii was pure EPICNESS (Is that even a word). My day started off with getting a prescription for muscle relaxers for upper back pain. I thought it was a great idea to pop of few of those prior to hitting the Tailgate. I have pictures from the rest of the day so I have been able to re-create the events as they are a bit fuzzy to me from 2 PM on! I highly recommend doing this, as I was purported to have a permanent smile on my face all day. In all seriousness, only professionals should do this, it is dangerous. Classic tailgate grub with Tailgate Tom’s brisket and ribs, I brought Sis’s beer brats, we also had kielbasa and chicken sausages, beans, potato salad and a keg of Fosters! Homecoming at SJSU is a must every year. The tailgate lot was rocking like never before. The weather was perfect, 80 degrees and blue skies. We were paid a visit by Meister Jaeger around 4 PM then all hell broke loose as usual! Next thing you know all the coeds are doing keg stands on our keg, I was goaded into playing cups with them again (And of course I still rule at the game), and we made new friends who I believe went by the names of Luscious, Gorgeous, Awesome, Delicious and Hotness. They even entertained us with a female wrestling match…way cool. The family across from us stuck two small pigs on a pole and hand cranked them over an open pit for 5+ hours, and the skin tasted great! We even had Random Guy number 2 hang in our camp and drink our beer and eat our food all day. I think he was taking a break from the occupy Wall Street protests. Several live bands were playing, San Jose’s finest were patrolling, and the cocktails were flowing and the food was sizzling. But clearly, meeting the guy who is Tailgate royalty was the highlight of my day.

The tradition of this annual event is that we all become rabid Spartan fans for this one game a year. And what a game it was. SJSU is much improved this year as Coach McIntyre is shaping things up in the South Bay. The stadium was rocking with their largest crowd in 4 seasons. A third of the crowd was adorned with Hawaii green. The SJSU student section was unusually large and vocal. 6 turnovers by each team kept this game more than interesting. Each offense racking up over 400 yards in production. A blocked extra kick returned for a 2 point score which turned out to be critical in the outcome of the game. With the Spartans down 5 points with 36 seconds left, they scored on a 37 yard TD pass to take the lead and hold on for victory. We had decided we were rushing the field with the students if they won…and we did. Classic moment was seeing my daughter’s friend on the field in the masses with a surprised expression on her face as if to say “Aren’t you a little old to be rushing the field with the student section?”. I plan on growing up when I hit fifty, I am clearly not ready for that commitment yet. For those that watched it, it was definitely the most exciting game of the weekend. I should know, I watched most of the other 50 games.

Around the rest of the country – We at the Tailgate would like to thank the following teams for participating in the BCS hunt for half a season after losing their first games: Michigan, Illinois and Georgia Tech. Better luck next year. LSU, Bama and OU solidified their grip on the top 3 spots. The next tier of undefeated teams all had impressive wins: Ok State, Boise, Wisconsin, Stanford, Clemson and Kansas State. Oh, and I must give props to Ohio State for finally playing Buckeye ball and pounding Illinois. AZ State went down in Eugene in a spirited attempt to knock off the juggernaut known as the quack attack without their two lead ducks on the field. Just good coaching Chipster. In the battle of the Glove State there was no “Hail to the Victors”, it was all Sparty as Mr. Shoelaces had his worst outing of the year. Big game again next week in East Lansing as the Badgers come knocking. Navy lost another close one to the Scarlet Nights in New Jersey. Question, is the “Honey Badger” Tyrann Matheiu of LSU the most exciting defensive player in CFB since Deion or Hugh Green? I am so impressed with this kid every time I watch him. I can’t wait for the LSU – Bama game on 11/5. This could be the game of the century.

Arizona’s Mike Stoops joins New Mexico’s Mike Locksley as the only coaches of major college football programs to be fired since this season started. Good thing your brother is in a position to take on a charity case! Just to go on record, this was predicted by the Tailgate several weeks ago. When the “desert swarm” became the desert mirage we knew his time in grade would be short. Who is next?

Hit of the week - Watch how this beast wraps up his target and drives him to the turf!

A get well to good friend Tailgate Terry Kernan who suffered a mild heart attack this week. Wishing you a speedy recovery bro! Terry has 2 sons currently playing college football. See pic of him above.

Gripe of the week – Players have forgotten how to tackle. As a kid in Rockville, MD playing youth football, one of the first things I was taught was how to wrap a player up with your arms, hit low and drive them into the ground. These days, thanks to Madden, players take the more spectacular and dangerous and ineffective route of launching themselves like missiles and trying to ram the ball carrier with their shoulder or helmet. The result is often an injured player and a ball carrier that is still upright and gaining yards. Who is teaching these kids? I remember my coach Perry in 8^th grade was a former college football player for Arkansas State. He did not like the way we were hitting in practice. He proceeded to demonstrate by tackling every kid on the team with proper technique while in his street clothes. Most of us went home bruised, battered but with the knowledge of proper tackling techniques tucked away in our brains for life. This technique served me and my shoulders well during my collegiate rugby playing days. Of course nowadays, if Coach Perry tackled a player at practice there would be a slew of whiny parents with lawyers ready to lynch and sue!

Next week the Tailgate is heading back East to Join the three Brothers for the Navy- East Carolina game in Annapolis Md. The grub is going to be fantastic!

Happy Tailgating!

Week 6 CFB 2011 "Blowout Weekend"

For a weekend with many much anticipated marquis matchups, most turned into lopsided blowouts with a few hidden gems mixed in. We will address this in a few minutes, but first the Tailgate update:

The Tailgate made the three hour trek Friday to the friendly confines of Fresno State University for the annual showdown of K-9’s and wild horses. K-9’s can have a nasty demeanor or they can roll over and want their bellies scratched. Horses can be unpredictable as well but you can always count on a ride. The pregame festivities put us on a strip of grass amidst a sea of red. Adorned in Boise blue & orange, I was sure to be a target of ridicule and abuse, however I was smart enough to bring former Cal Poly 270 pound defensive lineman “Drink Anything Dru” as my personal bodyguard. After firing up the grill and nearly burning down a 50 year old oak tree as fans in red watched this Boise moron, I was sure to be tarred and feathered. However much like their beloved Bulldogs that night, the fans were mostly docile and more interested in pounding a few pre-game cocktails instead of harassing me (see the picture of me and my new buddy from Fresno with his nice shirt). With my new $14 fold up mini grill, we charred up freshly made chicken and Italian sausages, Elk burgers, linguisa, cheeseburgers and grilled onions, washed down by a steady supply of Pacifico.( I can't understand why I have three stomach ulcers.) We were also joined by Tailgate veteran Ken “Am I the only one, who wants to have fun tonight” Reinke. Yes Ken, we are out here and we do want to have a cold beer and kick it to the morning light! We played a little bean bag toss that we brought (AKA Cornhole, nice name for a game), illegally dumped our coals in a make shift grave and headed to the stadium to buy tickets. In true Boise hospitable fashion, we were handed two tickets for free by Boise boosters and bought a third one for $30 that we split three ways. Total cost of the trip and tailgate $75! Kellen Moore was back on target, and Boise quickly sucked the air out of Bulldog Stadium, and the dogs rolled over in a prone position rather quickly. The game was essentially over at the beginning of the second quarter. The return of the suspended Geraldo “Cash for Clunkers” Boldewijn proved to be the boost the Boise offense needed to get to the next level. The most entertaining part of the night was watching the disgruntled Fresno fan “red man” see picture of the muscle head painted in red, trying to harass the Boise fans until he was offered to share a flask of spirits and eventually quieted down. We beat the rush and departed early in the fourth quarter with the Broncos up 50 -7. Final score, Boise 57 – Fresno -7. Pat Hill thinks Boise is the best team he has ever faced…save for that cursed kicking game courtesy of Mr. Brotzman from last year. My daughter needs to try out as a walk on kicker. She can kick further than both of their kickers combined (Happy birthday baby Rachel!). Are you serious Clarke? Perhaps I am Eddie.

Around the country – Saturday was spent at Tailgate HQ watching 20 + games until 11 PM Pacific time. As mentioned above, many of the much anticipated contests turned into severe “butt thumpins”. The Sooners turned their annual rivalry game into the" blood river rivalry" corralling the horns early and sending the Mac attack back to Austin with their Horns between their legs. LSU and Les “the Mad Hatter” Miles taking another huge bite of gator meat in Baton Rouge’s Death Valley. Does it taste better than "Tiger Grass"? Chip Kelly and the Eugene Avians de-clawing the Cal bears on Thursday night with a big second half quack attack. Notre Dame clicking on all cylinders and grounding the Air Force Falcons in South Bend putting up fiddy nine points! Arkansas giving a little payback to Gene Cheaptrick and the Tiger War Eagles for last year’s Cam fueled victory. Navy and Tailgate Brian witnessing one of the worst attacks on their home soil in decades. Perhaps the best game of the weekend was watching Nebraska come from 20 down in the second half to turn the Buckeyes into a bumbling bunch of elitists with lots of questions to answer. Ask the Wizard of Gee for some of his wisdom on what should be done. (Sorry Buckeye fans, I like the Buckeyes and their fans, just not Mr. Gee Whiz! He and I have issues with each other). Nice win for the Bruins late last night over the boys from the Palouse. Army & northwestern need to learn how to win the close games! You are better than your records show.

Let’s give some recognition to teams that are undefeated at this point of the season that no one could have predicted: Clemson (and my boy Dabo Mr 5 hour energy drink), Illinois, K-State, OK State, Georgia Tech and an incredible job by Brady “No Joke” Hoke at Michigan. I remember telling Michigan fans last winter that this guy could coach, and swallow a few pizzas while he was at it! Speaking of swallowing a few pizzas, I wonder if Kansas misses “Cannon” Mangino and Maryland longs for the Fridge? Just asking, that’s all. There were many roving Tailgate reporters around the country at South Bend (see pic of Tailgate Tubby and Son), San Diego State, Navy , Cotton Bowl, Rose Bowl and Stanford to name a few.

Sister "Pre game party" Patsy and Brother n Law "BC" Barney reported in from Clemson South Carolina as guest reporters of the week:

Not a good game for BC but the tailgating was good..great Bloody Mary's & lobster tails!. You would love the whole atmosphere so be sure & put Death Valley on your bucket list. Picture above of the famous Howard's Rock and tailgating with Clemson friends.

An update on the old Kicker dude (click on the link)

Gripe of the week – Classless fans. Why do some fan bases think it is necessary to be classless? Case in point was the shirts that some Fresno organization made for the Boise game that said “Buck Foise” (See picture again of me and my new buddy from Fresno). And then there are the fans chanting profanities or something clever like “your team sucks”. People no longer use wit to make a point, instead ignorance is substituted. I have come to the realization that any fan that stoops to this level does not know the game and is a poser. Come up with something original if you want to impress me or other faithful fans. College game day usually has some pretty clever signs on Saturday morning, study those, get some class and then show me something!

Next Friday is the annual Boyz of Laurelglen Tailgate party at San Jose State. The Spartans take on the Warriors from Hawaii at 6 PM Pacific time. Tailgate starts at 1 PM. I am sure we will have new stories to tell!

Happy Tailgating!

Week 5 CFB 2011

People ask me what makes college football so great versus other sports. So here is my answer: It is the school spirit, the home fans all wearing the same color shirt, 81,000 people doing the jump around, the student section, the marching band, the fight song, the mascot, the players pre-game walk to the stadium, the unpredictability of the outcome, the school traditions, tailgating, the cheerleaders, ESPN College Gameday & Erin Andrews, Keith Jackson, Lee Corso, School pride, flying colors that have real meaning, regional rivalries, military fly overs, the history of the game, the legends and myths of the game, the passion. All of these things combined make the perfect recipe for what is the greatest spectator sport in the world. It is what drives me to wake every Saturday at 5:45 AM to watch 18 hours of football or attend a live game and a tailgate party. This is why I put life on hold and treat this hallowed day as the sacred Sabbath of Autumn! Every Saturday from Labor Day through Thanksgiving weekend brings excitement to me that I have not known since I was kid waking up on Christmas morning. Perhaps there is a Corso Clause?

Tailgate update - We hosted another backyard all day tailgate party at Dan’s Bar & Grill. Alumni from Northwestern, UCLA and Notre Dame were in attendance. Grub consisted of dogs, links, drinks and lots of other good chow. The first featured game of the day was the Northwestern Wildcats squaring off in Champaign against the mighty fighting Illini. Northwestern, bolstered by the return of Quarterback Dan Persa had high hopes and jumped out to an 18 point lead. As predicted, brawn outpaced brain and the Illini came muscling back to win. As the game was winding down, my Northwestern friend and former NW player was heard screaming at the TV (See picture of the tall dude with hand gestures) “That’s all right, that’s okay, you’re going to work for me one day!!!!!” We then watched Boise win a redemption match against Nevada in ugly fashion. I called a last second audible and bailed on going to the UCLA - Stanford game and took a hit on my dwindling allocation of man cards. However, I was able to watch another 9 games throughout the evening from the comfort zone of my leather box seats at home!

Around the rest of the country – The most hyped games of the week turned out to be lopsided beat downs. The Master educated the pupil in the swamp, Nick Saban showed the young grasshopper Will Muschamp how it is done on the road in a hostile environment. Nick was heard saying “take that &%$#ing Gator Chomp and stick it!”. Nebraska was given a rude welcome to the Big Ten in Madison. How did the Cornhuskers like the “jump around” at Camp Randall? And Russell Wilson now has to be the front runner for the Heisman. Is he this year’s Cam Newton without the Scandal? And how about some respect for Dabo and his Clemson Tigers knocking off three top 20 teams in a row? Dabo has brought excitement to Clemson that has not been seen since the likes of Danny Ford graced the sidelines in Death Valley. Now for the gems of the weekend: Did anyone see the BYU - Utah State game Friday night. Utah State is challenging Toledo for this year’s Heartbreak kids. And How about Arkansas improbable comeback over the SEC wannabe Texas A&M? Andrew Luck may not only be the best QB in the Country but that catch he made may make him the best receiver with this Heisman worthy play:

I wonder if Gordon Gee had another fun Saturday in the Horseshoe? Oh what’s that, they lost at home against Michigan State? It sucks to play by the rules, doesn’t it? Perhaps G2 should schedule some Little Sisters of the Poor to get those 10 wins again. RG III we still love you…one interception won’t kill you, but it was untimely. K –State is still undefeated so props to the man who has a stadium named after him in Manhattan, KS …Mr. Bill Snyder. Washington State scoring 2 TD’s in the final 180 seconds to beat the buffs in their PAC 12 debut was impressive or deflating depending on what side of the picture you view from. The Service academy update had Army winning big, and Navy going down to Air Force in OT because young Mr. Proctor could not keep his emotions in check. Seriously coach Ken, make the squid walk the plank…arggggghhhhhhhh!

No gripe of the week this week, instead we will do the good deed of the week. Justin Blackmon of Oklahoma State has befriended a young 9 year old cancer patient named Olivia. Instead of me writing about it, please click on the video below and enjoy the story:

Guest blogger of the week – roving reporter “Willy (Brother) from the Tailgate “ reported in live from McDaniel College in Westminster, MD.

“Small college football at its best!”

Although the home team lost and fell to 1-3, it was an exciting game that wasn't decided until the final seconds. We (son Joey, his friend, and myself) had great seats right behind the McDaniel bench, and the atmosphere was festive and friendly. Easy access, good, cheap food, free parking and no admission has guaranteed that this old timer will definitely come back for the next game, on October 15! Final score Gettysburg - 44 McDaniel -37.

Next Friday, the tailgate will travel to Fresno to watch the Boise State Broncos take on the Central Valley Bulldogs of Fresno State. Saturday will be a day of recovery watching multiple games back at the man cave.

Happy Tailgating!