Sunday, November 11, 2012

Beavers and Ducks and Bears, Oh My!

Tailgate Update - After already deciding to go to the Cal – Oregon game in Bezerkley, The Tailgate, following the National movement of the week called an audible Saturday and did a student body LEFT and headed over the Bay to the Farm in Palo Alto for the Stanford – Oregon State game. Oh don’t worry, we also did the original game later that night for a double header day. The Tailgate was joined by TG Veterans, Dru “no” Manors, Mike “No D” Rabago, Dave “Wannstedt” Quilici,

Quilici looking befuddled
Craig “Buckeye- Wolverine – Illini” Castelein, “Good time” Reinke, Illini Taggert and newcomers former Chico State Linebacker Kenny “Doc Holiday” King, Chris “Dead Head” Desimone, “Sweet Lou” Girvolino and his son “Slinging” Sammy. Pre and post game tailgate in the Grove consisted of Hillshire farm sausages, Sis’s, Johnsonville beer brats and links that were hotz, Monica’s killer mac n cheese and potato salad Calabreeze. Plenty of beverages were on ice and bloody mary’s were nice. We had no green eggs and ham said Dan I am. Tailgate games were assembled and played, tables were cleared, and cups were flipped. We actually got the flat screen TV to work and caught several epic games on it. Great time was had by all. Oh yeah, a killer F-18 fly over to honor Veterans Day made the hair on my neck stand up. Perfect Segue for the Tailgate to give a shout out and proper salute to all of our Nation’s Veterans. Job well done ladies and gentleman!

In the Grove at Stanford Pre Game witht the Tailgate crew

The boyz enjoying modern technology

Stanford ended up winning on a come from behind touchdown pass from Gonzaga Prep product of Washington D.C., Kevin Hogan to local Danvillian Zach Ertz, the Nation’s best Tight End. Did you know they serve rum and coke at Stanford stadium? During the game while many of us were actually in the stadium watching a great game, Dru, Taggert and Reinke held down the fort and befriended about 20, twenty something mooches who drained our beverage supply and trashed my toys. All because of a cute smile and a nice pair of boots! 

Flip cup with the mooches, clearly they cheated
Table cleared for flip cup and other action


After a 2 hour post game tailgate, the crew packed up and half of us headed north to the Peoples Republic of Bezerkley, home of the unwashed and gentle people with flowers in their hair. I am pretty sure cannabis is legal in this city as it smelled like Amsterdam at night. I believe they were still celebrating Tuesday night’s election or something like that. On a cold California night, in a town that was infiltrated with yellow and green Ducks and the Kenyon Barn Burners from the North, the atmosphere was electric. The Bears hung tough for two and a half quarters before the Quack Attack started dive bombing all over the Bears. We lasted a little longer than the Bears did and then beat feet to the warmth of our own bear dens at home. One word of warning to all tailgaters: when your wife gives you a hall pass to pull off an all day double header, make sure you say goodbye to her when you leave. I have learned now that this would have been sage advice. I have also learned that the Oregon fans are the “Nuevo Riche” of college football. Meaning that they have found recent success but don’t present themselves in a sophisticated manner as teams with a tradition of success do. I had an inebriated Duck Fan tell me my Boise State winter cap was the ugliest hat in the stadium and that eating unspeakable matter is advised. Classy. I will now root against the Ducks in PAC 12 play.

Around The Country

Pac 12 – Other than the Bay Area action, the Bruins knocked off U of A for their 8th win this year. That is as many wins as Slick Rick Neuhisel had in his last 2 years combined! USC also responds with a win after last week’s Duck thrashing. More importantly Lame Kitten and his daddy were not caught deflating balls and blaming kids for the prank. Listen to Lame’s splaning :

This guy has learned all the little tricks from Cheaty boy Carroll. Cheaty boy just got away with more. Such morals. I actually feel bad for SC fans that they are stuck with this guy. Pat Haden would do the school well by bringing in a man of integrity and brains and whose daddy was not his DC!

SEC - A Legend was born in Tuscaloosa last night as Johnny Football and the Sumlin Aggies shocked Tide Nation and the world with a huge upset win of number 1 Alabama. I am currently on the Tailgate hotline talking my ole friend Alabama Al down off that ledge. Local reporters captured the video of the incident:

The Gator Nation survived an attack from the Swamp People from the University of Louisiana Lafayette. The Gator Special teams chomped down on the Cajun Punter to escape the grasp of the Gator hunters with a win.

Rajin Cajuns trying to elimiate the Gators. Shoot em Liisbeth!

The Bayou Bengals responded with a somber all business like win over Mississippi State in Baton Rouge.

Big 10 -Northwestern can’t hold a 4th quarter lead any better than Romney can as they fall again after leading late to the Dennardless Wolverines. Third loss this year for the Childcats, all in the same fashion of blowing a lead in the 4th quarter. The Corn boyz from Lincoln showered touchdowns (oops, bad choice of words here) on Penn State for an impressive come from behind victory. Okay none of that sounded right.

Big 12 -Colin Klein and the “Little Apple” Wildcats continued to be perfect for the season after clawing their way to a 23 -10 win in the newly remolded Amon Carter stadium in Fort Worth. 2 more wins and we will see them in the BCS championship in South Beach. The Cowpokes from Stillwater gave their ex- OC Dana “Hair Club for Men” Holgersen a rude welcome home by thrashing his moonshiners from Almost Heaven. The Sooner Nation made its loyalists content with an 8 point win over the clawless Bears from Waco. The Longhorns paid tribute to their legendary former coach Darrel Royal who passed away this week by lining up in his trademark wishbone formation on their first offensive play. The Horns completed their Salute to Coach Royal by crushing the Cyclones 33 -7.

ACC- Poor Frank Beamer looked like he wanted to choke his Gobblers on Thursday night after surrendering a game winning TD to the Noles at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg. Not a good time of the year for Turkeys to be Tomahawk chopped! This team lacks the leadership of the likes of former Hokie great and animal rights activist Michael “Pitbull” Vick. Ahh how they long for the good old days of winning games and watching dawg fights.

Could it be that the Wahoos from Charlottesville could make a bowl this year? Two improbable wins in a row for the Hoos after knocking off the Sugar Canes yesterday. Local UVA beat writer and high school buddy, Jeff “The Deer Hunter White” was quoted “ One shot, I try to tell people that but they don’t listen”.

Here is the rest of his story:

Clemson crushed the Twerps and the Fighting Irish win unimpressively against a lame duck led BC team. I hope either the echoes wake em up or Brian Kelly’s screaming wake up the Irish before they travel to LA in 2 weeks for the big showdown with SC.

Elsewhere, Boise traveled to Hawaii and did their own Haka dance on the Rainbow Warriors and Lei’d 45 PTS’s on the U of H. The Munchie Legeaux led Cincinnati Bearcats scraped up another win and the Cuze knock the Cardinals from their perch of the undefeated. All 3 service academies suffered losses this weekend. We still thank them for their duty to their country.

Tradition of the week – The Beaver Buzz Saw. When you attend an Oregon State game in Corvallis, Oregon as I did early in the season, you will hear what sounds like a buzz saw cutting through wood played over the PA system throughout the game when the Beavers do something good. The sound is supposed to imitate a Beaver chewing through a tree. After hearing it a few times you will wait in anticipation to hear it again. This drives the opposing team nuts!

Gripe of the week Contributed by Craig Castelein, Tailgate Veteran. Nothing is better than attending a college football game on a beautiful fall afternoon. There is energy and anticipation in the air, as you along with 45,000 plus like minded fans watch high caliber collegiate athletes try their very best! The offense is scheming to find every extra yard while the defense tries their absolute best to anticipate their opponent’s next move. And the energy continues to build until it all comes to a screeching halt because of ill placed.......TV TIME OUTS! Are you kidding me? I get up early on Saturday, coordinate with good friends to travel to the stadium, make other friends there, sometimes even clearing a table for them, pay for my ticket and then have all of that interrupted because some fat-ass sitting at home who didn’t pay for crap needs to be explained to as to what beer he should drink or pizza he should eat. Let me tell you something, if you don’t know the answer to those 2 questions without someone on TV telling you than you are an (insert your favorite derogatory comment here and say it loudly!). This actually reminds me of a very similar theme we are seeing across the country, but I will save that rant for a different time and different blog. Ok, I do recognize that there is the business behind publicizing these games and we are often the beneficiaries as it is impossible to attend every game you want to watch in person. However, the timing of when these TV timeouts occur is a real issue. Yes, at the quarter and half breaks and even after scores and change of possession. I get it. But in the middle of a drive and it is 3rd and 2 or when we see an incredible shift in momentum, and then we need to take a TV Timeout because the network needs to catch up on its commercial advertisement schedule.

GIVE ME A BREAK!! GRTPIF. (Ghost Rider the pattern is full!)

Gripe writer Casty and Dan at halftime of Stanford -OSU game

The Tailgate will be on vacation next week taking some well needed time with the family on the Hawaiian Islands. After Thanksgiving, we will be traveling to the Campus of USC for the Notre Dame/USC game. Hope everyone in Tailgate land has a great Thanksgiving. In the words of the great surfer dude Jeff Spicoli "Aloha Mr. Hand!"

Tailgater Dan Spicoli in Hawaii

  Happy Tailgating