Monday, September 30, 2013

Week 5 Back To School

Tailgate Update

The Tailgate Family had a reunion of sorts as we soared into Boise pronounced “Boy Cee” for the weekend to watch the Broncos take on Brett Favre University from Hattiesburg, MS and oh yeah, to visit our fist born, naturally. We were joined by fellow BSU parents, KG the proprietor of BLR Signs and his minder TG, and our friend “the Big O,”former gridiron great at San Jose State, Newcomers Linda and Louie P – Rezzzz and the “GoodVellas” from our hood. The last time we watched a game on the blue two years ago, Bronco nation had their hearts broken for the second year in a row by their own kicker. Here is a little ditty to commemorate that occasion:

Base camp was secured at 9 AM at Julia Davis Park across the Boise River from the stadium. We returned at 2:30 for setup and commencement of the festivities. Canopy was raised, banners were draped, tables assembled, grill was torched, games were set up and “Tailgate Theater” was connected to partial functioning status to watch the other big games of the day. On the menu were Sis’s Beer Brats, Morton’s Tri Tip samichez, a slew of appies, and the customary variety of libations were provided to all those of age. We were joined by a bevy of hungry, thirsty collegians and our own family scholars. “If you cook it, they will come”. The scene was reminiscent of a UN refugee camp with the college kids lining up for their daily meal. I think this flash mob twitter thing had something to do with the amount of kids that appeared out of nowhere when the dinner bell rang. It was fantastic to see so many of them smiling and having a great time. The Parents of the five host families had a chance to relive their collegiate experiences and partake in the celebration.

Newcomers to the Tailgate scene!
The Goodvellas

The Griswolds.
Big O and the boys.

The ladies.
The men.
Wrong orange and the mullet went out 15 years ago!
That's funny, my husband does have a mullet!



Tailgate theater had technical difficulties.
You come down out of that tree right now!

Mama and her cubs,

I have no idea who these kids belonged to.
The corn hole kings.

The orange and blue crew

 I felt like I was playing the role of Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School, hanging with all the students and learning their tailgate rituals. And no I did not have to execute a triple lindy to gain approval, however there were a few challenges that were necessary for me to maintain my Alpha Male reputation! 

I tell ya I get no respect!
You kids are killing me.

 I was stalked by Mrs. Tailgate for allegedly having too much fun and put in tailgate timeout multiple times. We were re -introduced to Tailgate skiing, aka Shotski. After completing your shotski run, it is purported that one will execute a really bad dance. Food, fun and company were fantastic!

The Ski dance video

Thirsty perhaps?
Just like her mama.

Hyenas drinking their prey.
You'll get nothing and like it!

Our seats were in the lower bowl on the 20 yard line. Bronco stadium looks exponentially improved without the red tartan track surrounding the blue Smurf Turf.  The new athletic facilities building in the north end zone is now complete and looks outstanding. My understanding is that the next phase will be the closing in of the south end zone followed by dropping the field and moving seats closer to the smurf turf. It was a cool, rainy at times, breezy night with a start of 8:15 pm Mountain. There was a sellout crowd as usual that had the appearance of a giant pumpkin patch for orange-out night. I was dressed appropriately in shorts and a t shirt (forgot about the difference in latitude from Boise to Cali).

The Boise offense got on track early and often behind a solid performance from Danville boy Joe Stashwick. The Boise Defense was equal to the task as well holding a bewildered and over matched Golden Eagle squad to one score all night and bringing the wood relentlessly.  In fact, the Golden Eagle mascot “Seymour” saw more action then the Golden Eagle O. 

By the middle of the third quarter, Stash and the boys handed the reigns over to the second string and by the fourth quarter the C team made a rare appearance for Boise. Final score was Boise 60 – So Miss -7. It was like the Boise State of old during the Kellen Moore era. We actually felt sorrow and pain for the beaten opponent.

Around the country

Tech Bowl – On Thursday Night the Techies from VA shut down the Techies from GA 17 - 10 whilst wearing their throwback Flintstone helmets.   
VA Tech unis Thursday night.
And how about those ISU Cyclones blowing out the Golden Hurricane in Tulsa? Coach Rhoades said the game was a breeze. In a disappointment for me, but sheer exhilaration for my in laws and a certain daughter, Boomer Sooner knocked out the Fighting Irish in South Bend. The Sooner Nation felt somewhat vindicated as they claim ND stole their Slogan “Play Like A Champion Today” some years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Urban remains perfect with the Buckeyes as Braxton Miller returned to lead The OH – IO State University to a classic Big Ten win over Bucky the Badger. In the most hyped game of the week, LSU falls to UGA and the Dawgs 44 - 41 in an epic battle in Athens. Coach Les Miles “don’t  like the taste of no grass that UGA lifted his stubby chubby  lil leg on”. Bama made Ole Miss QB Bo Wallace remove his cleat from his mouth delivering him and the Rebs a cup of shutout soup in T Town. The Cowpokes traveled to Morgantown, WV to face their old offensive coordinator, now Mountaineer Head Honcho “Better Call Saul” Holgreson only to leave with their first loss of the season.
Better call Dana!
Famous Jameis and the Seminoles ambushed the Eagles of BC, but only by a narrow margin as the Jesuits made a game of it. Maryland cracks the top 25 for the first time since the Fridge roamed the sideline. In the service academies, Army gets a win in the cotton bowl in the rain. 
Another stain in the rain.
Air Force and Navy both suffer defeats. The Ducks trapped the Bears at Autsen 55 - 13. And last but not least, The Tailgate nation is saddened to report that we will no longer be able to honor Lane Kiffin on a weekly basis. After leading his team into a desert swarm in Tempe Saturday night and giving up Sixty (Rommel he is not!), Lane was relieved of command upon landing at LAX  by General Pat Haden. The search is on. Who will it be?  Petersen, Fitzgerald, Strong, Gruden, Fischer, Stoops, Patterson, Lombardi, Rockne?  

 Andrea Bocelli found it appropriate to provide Lane a parting song:

This week’s long overdue Beiber Award goes to TV’s biggest blowhard Keith Olbermann.
Recently, ESPN hired Sir Keith back to host his own show named to fit his larger than life ego simply “Olbermann”.  So let’s talk about this guy a bit. He is so obnoxious and full of himself that even Al “I invented Tailgating” Gore couldn’t stand him. He pink slipped him from his network Current TV  in his last job. Prior to that, even the left leaning pretend news network, MSNBC kicked Keithey boy to the curb once and for all.  For those of you old enough to remember, he was a sports anchor on CNN in the 80’s and with ESPN in the 90’s.  He was not good then and his knowledge of anything other than overthrowing America is limited at best. I did not like him back in the day and I like him even less now. Not sure what ESPN was thinking hiring this divisive blowhard that spews vitriol from his bully pulpit. It is not only the non-liberals that don’t like this Hack, even the hard core southpaws can’t tolerate this smug Cornell man. My recommendation to ESPN is to put Olblabbermouth in the MMA octagon with any challenger that wants to take a swing, kick, slap, elbow, knee, pile drive or whatever at him.  Then I, along with the millions of others boycotting his show would tune in with enthusiasm. I have spoken.

Paul Harvey Commentary: Four Fingers
Good day!

 Do you ever wonder why every copycat team in College football holds up four fingers at the end of the third quarter? No, it’s not unique to the scholar athlete that wants his parents to know he will graduate in four years and become a tax paying citizen. Nor is it to notify everyone how many teeth he has or the number of concussions he has suffered that day. Well duh, of course it is to signify the fourth quarter.  I for one am just happy to know, that to a man, all college football players can count to four.  Do they think we fans or their teammates don’t know what is coming? Maybe it is visual reinforcement for the numerically challenged. 

There is much debate as to who started this “tradition” that all the posers use today use with no clue to its origins. So here goes; in 1964 the Arkansas Razorbacks under legendary coach Frank Broyles claim to have started it to signify that they owned the fourth quarter. Ironically, a future slippery coach by the name of Jimmy “Hair Helmet” Johnson was on that 64 Razorback team.  Why is that significant you ask? Fast forward to South Beach in the mid 1980’s and one Coach J squared and his Miami Hurricanes re-purposed the signal and popularized it amongst posers in CFB. However, there is one more twist to this story, there are some who claim that Bear Bryant and Alabama discovered this phenomenon in the early 1970’s in Tuscaloosa and Birmingham (where they love their Governor).  Now this gets really eerie, guess who finished #1 and # 2 in 1964? Correct, Bama # 1 (Joe Willy Namath at QB) and Arkansas #2. So this may have been Bear’s way of really wanting to hold up only one finger to Broyles, Johnson, and an Arkansas offensive lineman by the name of Jerry Jones and rub it in their face a bit. Bear is probably looking down from the great hibernation cave in the sky smiling at all those that signify to him, who is the real number one, with a four finger salute. See, he is still coaching. So there you have it, and that is the rest of the story. Good day!

The Bear
J2 Hair Helmet

This week the Tailgate travels to the Great Salt Lake to watch the Utes take on the Bruins Thursday night and Utah State battle BYU Friday night.

Happy Tailgating!