Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Snap Back To reality, CFB is almost here!

Welcome back loyal Tailgaters. It has been a long and eventful off season. Lots to talk about. Last year was a record year as was reflected in my last write up of the 2012 season. This year could be even bigger if the stars align properly. 

Monetizing this blog
  • This season Tailgate fans will be able to order DFT merchandise. We have already sold 50 DFT T shirts in the last 6 weeks. 
  •  We are also accepting advertisers on the page this year, so hit your companies up to buy a spot.  Send me an e-mail or a comment if you are interested. They will get the FODFT discount if you are a loyal tailgater. 
  •  I am an official affiliate of Order any of your purchases directly through the link on this site at the top and DFT will reap the benefits.
  •  As always,  click on the google ads early and often as DFT gets credit for those clicks!
  • Last, if you participate in college football forums for your team or league,  please share this blog with fellow CFB fanatics.

You got it, I am finally trying to monetize this thing instead of selling lemonade on the corner each weekend and delivering papers at 4 AM to pay for my hobby.

The Tailgate has set up an extremely aggressive schedule for the season that starts off with a road trip to U Conn and a big Tailgate party at Cal for the Northwestern game on opening weekend. See my schedule below and be sure to let me know if you will be at any of the games we plan on attending. We will also hit a few TBD Bowl games once they are determined.

This year, there will be a weekly contest for you readers to have a chance to win a DFT T Shirt by picking the correct score of my main game of the week. The game will be listed at the bottom of my weekly write up each week. Ties will be settled with the score of my secondary game. Week 1 primary game will be Northwestern at Cal, secondary will be Towson at U Conn. Closest score wins. You must pick the right score for the right team. You will need to post your answer in the comment section by Wednesday night each week. You can e-mail me with your size and address if you win and I will mail your shirt, or if you are local you can swing by and pick it up.

Okay, so on to football.  More conference realignment to keep us all confused, more scandals, more coaching movements. So let’s review a few of them:
  • ·Manti and Lennay are no longer engaged since she arose from the dead and will be starring in season four of The Walking Dead.
Lennay Kekua - Te'o
  •  Everett Golson took lessons from Pete Carroll and cheated and will not wear the golden dome this year
  • ·Gordon Gee ticked off one too many people and has been awarded with early retirement, a new bow tie, lifetime supply of depends and some silly putty and a slinky to amuse himself.
  • Bobby Petrino has a new motorcycle and new student assistant at Western Kentucky
Jerry Quarry or Bobby Petrino?
  •  Remind me again why Tommy Tubberville left Texas Tech for Cincinnati?
  • Guss Malzahn returns to the scene of the crime in Auburn to take over the reins that he partially held during the Scam Scam era.
  • Brett “Curly” Bulimia will be throwing up hog meat in Sooeyland; he is blackballed from ever buying Weezconsin cheeses again to go with the pork
  • Cal, Colorado, BC, NC State and Tennessee also all have new Commanders
  • Graduation to the NFL: 
    • Chipper Kelly waddled out of the Duck Dynasty to fly like an Eagle 
      Chip's old homeys
    •   Doug Marone left the Cuze to run with the Bills in Buffaload. Do you think he will now sign Frank Gore? Hehehehehe.
    •    Monte Kiffin is running an offense again in the Big D and is rumored to have located his lost marbles.
  • The Big East is no more (yeah !), we now have a new conference called the American Athletic Association that is not an AQ conference.
  • Pitt and the Cuze join the ACC.
  • The WAC conference has disbanded and remnants have joined the Mountain West or have become Independents. We will miss the Wacky WAC.
  • Several Sun Belt Schools jumped to Conference USA
  • New D1A School - Georgia State becomes the newest member of the FBS
  • The Tree at Toomer’s corner in Auburn will bark no more and has become living room furniture, firewood, and the stuff that used to decorate it after each victory.

  •  More people dislike Lane Kiffin on his Facialbook page than like him.
  • Uncle Jerry made a movie with a stuffed animal from State Penn:
  • Was that, a Heisman Trophy on Johnny Manziel’s cheek or just a really big boil zit? After all, he is the Amanda Bynes of College Football off season drama.

Alfred E Manzier

  • Too many idiot players were arrested for too many stupid things to recount here
  • ·Coaches Dead Pool candidates for the year (most likely to be drawing welfare in January):                                                       
                                      Mac Brown – Texas
                                      Lame Kiffin – USC
                                      Randy Edsall – Maryland
                                      Paul Johnson – Georgia Tech
                                      Larry Ellerson – Army

                                      Charlie Weiss – Kansas
  • ·On the road again with Jack Tailgate Kerouac – my business travels in the off season afforded me the opportunity to visit and break into the following college shrines:

Boomer Sooner

Apogee Field  - UNT

Central Oklahoma

Eastern Michigan

Lane Stadium - Va Tech

We Are Marshall!

Texas Tech

The Blue

UVA Scott Stadium

UC Davis


Nevada - Reno

 University of North Texas, Boise State, VA Tech, Texas Tech, UVA, Marshall, Ohio State University, Eastern Michigan University, UC Davis, Oklahoma University, Central Oklahoma University, Nevada Reno.
New this year - “The Justin Bieber Award” – given each week to a deserving person who embodied the characteristics of the Beebs or just for doing something we would like to call attention to. This replaces the past “Stain of the week” award. 

Rodney Dangerfield - in Caddyshack " Now I know why Tigers eat their young!"

You got it,  none other than Johnny "Drama" Football - Manziel wins the first Beebs Award of the season for his colorful off season activity.

Johnny Drama
 I would like to give a shout out to Joe Rogers from the Bleacher Report and The College Football Bowl Report in helping me improve the look and feel of the website. You can see Joe’s link on the left side of the page.

The College Football Bowl report

Pick the score of the game of the week: (Winner wins a DFT T Shirt) Use the comment section below to submit
  • Cal v Northwestern - Primary game

  •  U Conn v Towson State - Secondary game
Next week’s Tailgate Schedule:
  • Storrs, CT – Towson State at UConn (West Point Wiggins and Major Tom)
  • Bezerkley, CA Northwestern at Cal (Nerds v Absurds) (The Big Cat himself Mihailo Panovich and about 30 legendary tailgaters in the parking lot on the corner of Benvenue and Durrant, 4 blocks from Strawberry Canyon.
As always, I welcome your feedback, comments and suggestions.  I would really like your pictures and stories of great college football outings you experience this year. Last, if you have a good tailgate recipe, send it to me and I will post it. Also, don't forget to tell your college football fanatical friends about this blog.

Happy Tailgating!