Nothing quite sez I love you like college football. Mrs. Tailgate
and I opted for a romantic day as we invaded the People’s Republic of Bezerkley
in an attempt to root out Antifa turds and catch the Cal game. Antifa must have
heard Mrs. Tailgate was coming as they were nowhere to be found. Either that or
they were still locked in their parent’s basement in timeout from misbehaving
Friday night. My secondary objective was
to “Trigger Cal Snowflakes” by wearing the opposing team, Weber State’s Schwag (Courtesy
of Eric Big E Aragon). Cal’s students are so oblivious to football that they
did not even notice my annoying aggressive gesture. They were busy with play-dough and crayons. Beautiful day on the Bay with pre-gaming at the historic
Claremont hotel and tickets and parking provided courtesy of the Chris Kenny
family. Division 1 AA Weber State gave Cal all they could handle for 3
quarters. By the 4th quarter, the bigger, stronger, faster, and
deeper Cal wore the scrappy Wildcats down and slipped away with a 33-20
victory. We made it back to DFT HQ in time to watch the marquis games of the
night.
Major props to Baker Magic and the Oklahoma Sooners for
taking it to the “entitled” Buckeyes on their home turf in the Horseshoe. Bake consummated
his conquest by planting the Sooner flag on the 50 after the game like a dog
marking his tree. I am also the recipient of a fine bottle of Jameo Black from
a misinformed Buckeye fan who dared to bet me.
In the cat fight in Death Valley, SC the reigning national
champs, Clemson Tigers clawed out a win over the Auburn Tigers. In South Bend,
the Dawg faithful traveled large and meted out some magic of their own on Notre
Dame’s home turf by topping the Irish 19-18. In the battle for the CyHawk trophy, Iowa out pointed Iowa State in Ames. All three Service Academies won. Out on the West Coast, USC behind
Sam Darnold dealt with the Stanford Cardinal quite easily. In the late late
game in the Palouse, Boise State gave one away to the WSU Cougs in triple OT.
The DFT San Jose crew invades Austin, TX. |
This week’s Bieber is an easy choice and goes to our first
female of the year. She is a real bitch and personally ruined five games this
weekend and several next. The nerve of her taking the Florida peninsula by
storm and wreaking havoc on countless people and football fans. Irma as she is
known, as I write this, is currently making a mess of everything in her wake in
south and central Florida. Her brother Harvey did the same damn thing to Texas
a few weeks back and we have great disdain for him too. Please, enough! Take
your kin and go back out on the ship you rode in on and never return! And oh
yeah, take your Bieber trophy with you.
Next week I will be teaming up with Brian Donnelly as we are
slotted for a double banger on Saturday. Game one is Kansas at Ohio University
and game two is Kent State at Marshall. Special arrangements have been made by
Ryan O’Connor. See you all on Court St. Friday night and Hal Greer Blvd.
Saturday night!
A brief video of our week 1 Tailgate at SJSU
Happy Tailgating!
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