Sunday, October 9, 2011

Week 6 CFB 2011 "Blowout Weekend"

For a weekend with many much anticipated marquis matchups, most turned into lopsided blowouts with a few hidden gems mixed in. We will address this in a few minutes, but first the Tailgate update:

The Tailgate made the three hour trek Friday to the friendly confines of Fresno State University for the annual showdown of K-9’s and wild horses. K-9’s can have a nasty demeanor or they can roll over and want their bellies scratched. Horses can be unpredictable as well but you can always count on a ride. The pregame festivities put us on a strip of grass amidst a sea of red. Adorned in Boise blue & orange, I was sure to be a target of ridicule and abuse, however I was smart enough to bring former Cal Poly 270 pound defensive lineman “Drink Anything Dru” as my personal bodyguard. After firing up the grill and nearly burning down a 50 year old oak tree as fans in red watched this Boise moron, I was sure to be tarred and feathered. However much like their beloved Bulldogs that night, the fans were mostly docile and more interested in pounding a few pre-game cocktails instead of harassing me (see the picture of me and my new buddy from Fresno with his nice shirt). With my new $14 fold up mini grill, we charred up freshly made chicken and Italian sausages, Elk burgers, linguisa, cheeseburgers and grilled onions, washed down by a steady supply of Pacifico.( I can't understand why I have three stomach ulcers.) We were also joined by Tailgate veteran Ken “Am I the only one, who wants to have fun tonight” Reinke. Yes Ken, we are out here and we do want to have a cold beer and kick it to the morning light! We played a little bean bag toss that we brought (AKA Cornhole, nice name for a game), illegally dumped our coals in a make shift grave and headed to the stadium to buy tickets. In true Boise hospitable fashion, we were handed two tickets for free by Boise boosters and bought a third one for $30 that we split three ways. Total cost of the trip and tailgate $75! Kellen Moore was back on target, and Boise quickly sucked the air out of Bulldog Stadium, and the dogs rolled over in a prone position rather quickly. The game was essentially over at the beginning of the second quarter. The return of the suspended Geraldo “Cash for Clunkers” Boldewijn proved to be the boost the Boise offense needed to get to the next level. The most entertaining part of the night was watching the disgruntled Fresno fan “red man” see picture of the muscle head painted in red, trying to harass the Boise fans until he was offered to share a flask of spirits and eventually quieted down. We beat the rush and departed early in the fourth quarter with the Broncos up 50 -7. Final score, Boise 57 – Fresno -7. Pat Hill thinks Boise is the best team he has ever faced…save for that cursed kicking game courtesy of Mr. Brotzman from last year. My daughter needs to try out as a walk on kicker. She can kick further than both of their kickers combined (Happy birthday baby Rachel!). Are you serious Clarke? Perhaps I am Eddie.

Around the country – Saturday was spent at Tailgate HQ watching 20 + games until 11 PM Pacific time. As mentioned above, many of the much anticipated contests turned into severe “butt thumpins”. The Sooners turned their annual rivalry game into the" blood river rivalry" corralling the horns early and sending the Mac attack back to Austin with their Horns between their legs. LSU and Les “the Mad Hatter” Miles taking another huge bite of gator meat in Baton Rouge’s Death Valley. Does it taste better than "Tiger Grass"? Chip Kelly and the Eugene Avians de-clawing the Cal bears on Thursday night with a big second half quack attack. Notre Dame clicking on all cylinders and grounding the Air Force Falcons in South Bend putting up fiddy nine points! Arkansas giving a little payback to Gene Cheaptrick and the Tiger War Eagles for last year’s Cam fueled victory. Navy and Tailgate Brian witnessing one of the worst attacks on their home soil in decades. Perhaps the best game of the weekend was watching Nebraska come from 20 down in the second half to turn the Buckeyes into a bumbling bunch of elitists with lots of questions to answer. Ask the Wizard of Gee for some of his wisdom on what should be done. (Sorry Buckeye fans, I like the Buckeyes and their fans, just not Mr. Gee Whiz! He and I have issues with each other). Nice win for the Bruins late last night over the boys from the Palouse. Army & northwestern need to learn how to win the close games! You are better than your records show.

Let’s give some recognition to teams that are undefeated at this point of the season that no one could have predicted: Clemson (and my boy Dabo Mr 5 hour energy drink), Illinois, K-State, OK State, Georgia Tech and an incredible job by Brady “No Joke” Hoke at Michigan. I remember telling Michigan fans last winter that this guy could coach, and swallow a few pizzas while he was at it! Speaking of swallowing a few pizzas, I wonder if Kansas misses “Cannon” Mangino and Maryland longs for the Fridge? Just asking, that’s all. There were many roving Tailgate reporters around the country at South Bend (see pic of Tailgate Tubby and Son), San Diego State, Navy , Cotton Bowl, Rose Bowl and Stanford to name a few.

Sister "Pre game party" Patsy and Brother n Law "BC" Barney reported in from Clemson South Carolina as guest reporters of the week:

Not a good game for BC but the tailgating was good..great Bloody Mary's & lobster tails!. You would love the whole atmosphere so be sure & put Death Valley on your bucket list. Picture above of the famous Howard's Rock and tailgating with Clemson friends.

An update on the old Kicker dude (click on the link)

Gripe of the week – Classless fans. Why do some fan bases think it is necessary to be classless? Case in point was the shirts that some Fresno organization made for the Boise game that said “Buck Foise” (See picture again of me and my new buddy from Fresno). And then there are the fans chanting profanities or something clever like “your team sucks”. People no longer use wit to make a point, instead ignorance is substituted. I have come to the realization that any fan that stoops to this level does not know the game and is a poser. Come up with something original if you want to impress me or other faithful fans. College game day usually has some pretty clever signs on Saturday morning, study those, get some class and then show me something!

Next Friday is the annual Boyz of Laurelglen Tailgate party at San Jose State. The Spartans take on the Warriors from Hawaii at 6 PM Pacific time. Tailgate starts at 1 PM. I am sure we will have new stories to tell!

Happy Tailgating!