Sunday, September 23, 2012

Separation Saturday

The boyz takin in some chow and CFB
Tailgate update – The Tailgate hosted its 3rd annual Notre Dame – Michigan backyard Tailgate. Too many people to name but the picture below will implicate all those accused and in attendance. The menu consisted of Tri Tip, Sis’s beer brats, hot dogs, potato casserole, deviled eggs, salad, wine country appetizers, keg beer, Belgian beer and an assortment of wines. The tailgate games were in full effect as my 9 year old kid won a game of beer pong (water substitute of course!) Frostburg State or Chico could be in her future. Although Notre Dame was the featured matchup, Dan’s Bar and Grill had 3 different games going at any one time. Notre Dame’s defense is the real deal led by my Heisman favorite Manti Te’o. They forced Mr. Shoelaces Robinson into throwing 4 picks and no offensive Touchdowns. And the Wolverines were singing TEEEEEE’O, TEEEEE’O, daylight come and me wanna go home! Now the QB issue is a different story with Touchdown Tommy Rees being activated off the bench to lead the Irish to victory. They wuz a partying in South Bend last night as the Irish walked away with a 13 - 6 victory. Hail Hail for ole Notre Dame….Could Brian Kelly be the man to return the Irish to their former glory a la Rockne, Leahy, Parsegian and Holtz?

All smiles after an Irish win!

Praying to the ND flag!

Snooki and Mike "The Situation" Soprano from Jersey.

The girls getting their game on!
The kids making their papas so proud!

USC giving back to the community. As I stated at the outset of the season, I am not going to pick on USC anymore. As a matter of fact I want to point out positive things that this team accomplishes on and off the field. It was brought to my attention that USC over the last few years has done their part in reducing our burgeoning national debt by returning precious metals and expensive gems to the U.S. government. Pictures below show their philanthropic efforts. Many thanks to the burgundy and gold again!

Pete and Matt giving the Crystal back
Reggi not wanting to let it go

Around the Country -Thursday night’s matchup pitted Boise against BYU. Wow, what an ugly offensive or “O Fence Sive” game, depending on how you look at it. Both defensives were stout with the only score coming from Windsor, Canada’s big #99 “Canadian Bacon” Atkinson on a pick six. Fat guy running alert! Both OC’s and starting QB’s were ineffective. Boise needs to change something and fast. Where have you gone Kellen Moore? The Boise faithful miss you more than you will know. Normally cool Coach Pete went Bobby Knight on the sideline losing his composure just a bit. Boise escapes with a 7-6 win only because BYU went for 2 and did not convert.

Big ole #99 for Boise

The Noles chopped their way to a 12 point victory over Clemson in one of the most ballyhooed and anticipated matchups in recent ACC history. How do I know it was a 12 point win? Because I had $50 small on Clemson +15 and am walking tall today. I will now finally submit and give Florida State credit for being a good team. Welcome back Tomahawk Chop (Obnoxious as it is)!

QB Colin Klein and Coach Snyder continued their miracle run leading K State to a W in Norman against the heavily favored Sooners proving the pundits and prognosticators wrong. It could be a long season for the Sooner Nation and the Brothers Stoops. Hey, B Swizzle in all his minkness is looking for a gig as a consultant…if you so feel the need.

Switzer in all his glory!

Locally, San Jose State goes to 3-1 with a solid victory down at the Murph/Qualcomm/Chargers stadium against San Diego State. Coach Mac is doing great things with the Boyz from Silicon Valley.
Another game NostrilDanus From the Tailgate predicted was a much tighter matchup in Pasadena between UCLA and the Justin Beavers Orange Crush from Corvallis. Oregon State’s front 7 on defense will hit you hard, mean and all day long as they walked out of the Rose Bowl with an upset victory over the previously 19th ranked Bruins. Coach Riley was rumored to have petitioned Commissioner Scott to rename the Rose Bowl the Orange Bowl after that impressive win.

Coach Rich Rod was none to pleased leaving Autzen stadium without scoring a point and giving up 49 to the Quack Attack. The Hokies get back on track with a solid win by gobbling up the boyz from Bowling green. Geno Smith had another big day as the Mountaineers ran past the turtles for a closer win than was predicted. Cal loses again to SC down in the Coliseum. And how about my newly adopted Chippewas from Central Militiagun landing a W against Iowa? LeVeon Bell of Sparty Nation racks up two fiddy plus on EMU. The Hurricanes blew through downtown Atlanta on their way to an improbable comeback victory over the Rambling Wreck from Gawgia Tech! Oh Arkansas, what can I say at this point? You did make the Jersey Shore crew very happy bowing to NJ State. In one of the best games of the weekend, Auburn almost pulled off the unthinkable in Death Valley by narrowly losing 12-10 to the Bengal Tigers of Baton Rouge. The Hat has some serious Tiger grass to chew on after that one. And finally, Colorado lands their first victory over the Cougs and Mike “what was I thinking taking this job” Leach. Long gone are the days of locking up Craig James’ son in the equipment shed and having a smile over it. Man those were the good ole days. It appears that it will be a tough year for our Service Academies as Air Force and Army were defeated yesterday and Navy gets no props for playing a D1 AA team (sorry brother).

Hit of the week – This dude was decleated!

Tailgate recipe of the week – brought to you by Carls’ junior

Gripe of the week – The word "REALLY"? This word is as overused and annoying to me as a CFB announcer saying those 2 hated words “In Space” (Go back 2 -3 years for that rant). It is the most overused colloquialism in the modern English language. Especially when an announcer uses it, I have to take my anger management pills (see pic) to keep from jumping through the TV and pile driving the moron who says it. Examples: “It was 4th and 11 and they decided to run a skinny post instead of a sweep! REALLY? Why would they kick it deep when they should have done an on-side kick, REALLY? REALLY, did he just do that? Okay how about this: I would REALLY like to bury my knuckles in your teeth next time you say that? Really, used to be a good and useful word. But people who are not clever, lack wit and are basically morons revert to that word like others short of websters’ terms who use swear words as filler language. Taken in context with football announcers and post game pundits, it becomes nails on a board to me. Watch my favorite fart in a suit Mark May next week. I guarantee he will use it at some point. Ahhhh it feels good to rip my least favorite ex-hog!
Anger Management

Special thanks to my Nephew Nate for sending me a Sparty t –shirt! Thanks to BC Pops, Tinfoil Hokie and others for inquiring if I would like one of their schools’ shirts. Remember, double XXL and I do look good in all colors.

Tailgating Tubby’s son Nick is a junior at Iowa and gets paid to write a college football article. Here is his most recent:

Please read it cuz hiz daddy needs the coin to pay off his gambling debts. Prayers to John L Smith after a rough week of losing his brother and filing for $25 million bankruptcy.

Next week, The Tailgate will travel through the Caldecott tunnel to Bezerkeley for the CAL- ASU game. We will be Bargating at Manny’s Tap Room or whatever it is now called, on Telegraph avenue from 10 AM on. Come join us if you are in the area.Check out the new Heisman poll and vote on it.

Happy Tailgating!