Sunday, September 8, 2013

Week 2 – Danny Boy From the Tailgate

Tailgate Update
This week the Tailgate took a break from going to a live game to host the 4th annual backyard bash at DB&G for the Notre Dame – Michigan game.  The question is whether “it is or is not” a rivalry game? Since ND will be going to a partial ACC schedule starting in 2015, this is a game they chose to discontinue starting that year. Brian “The Ripper” Kelly argues that it is not a historic rivalry game. Brady “Jabba the Hoke” claims that it is. Who is right?  They both are partially correct.  The teams have played 40 times in 125 years. Four different hiatuses occurred during this time including a 35 year break from 1942 -1978. In 1978 the “Bromance” between Big Blue and ND was rekindled into an annual event again.  Since 1978 they have played each other in all but a handful of years. So you decide, “is it or isn’t it? There you have it, from deep in the archives of the DFT crack investigative reporting unit.

Fittingly, the Irish Murphy’s law wreaked havoc on the Tailgate household on game day. The all -important crapper flapper on the downstairs latrine and the outdoor TV in DB&G were rendered inoperable.  The brand new DFT bar sign courtesy of BLR signs came crashing down on the bar narrowly missing a glass table top. Additionally, U-Verse was not carrying the PAC 12 network until Larry Clawz came through in the wee hours of Saturday morning allowing us the opportunity to watch the Stanford – San Jose game after the main event, which by the way had nothing to do with me visiting the offices of the PAC 12 Network on Thursday. Nonetheless, through Irish ingenuity we improvised and had everything functioning by kick off, well sort of.

BLR Marketing Whiz showing off his construction abilities.

Joining us at the shindig were the usual mafia families Iorio, Quilici, Rabago, Millard and Castelein. Our friends from the Eastern European syndicate, the Panovich’s, Arbogasts and Nowaceks were there for the sit down with the Don Fritz Scharff presiding. True Irishmen were clearly outnumbered at this celebration. So thus began Danny Boy from the Tailgate, week 2 action.

The Boyz enjoying the CFB action

Mrs. Tailgate monitoring the activity

Nice T Shirts!

The boy has skill
The ladies pretending to enjoy the game!

Dude, he is going to cut your hand off if you do that again!

With a bottle of Jameson’s on the line with fellow Irishman Joseph Doherty, who had his wires crossed and became a Michigan fan, the game had an added element for me. I will be rendering payment to Joe when I see him at the Army-Navy game in December.  He will share the winnings with me. At the backyard bash, we enjoyed “DFT ” slow cooked baby back ribs (See recipe on side bar), Hillshire Farms sausages, Mrs. T’s famous deviled eggs, as well as a delicious assortment of appetizers, sides and desserts. Draft beer, bottle beer, crushed grapes and an assortment of other liquids were consumed.  With a record college crowd of 115,000 in the Big House, Herbie and Musberger calling the action from the booth, this would surely live up to the billing as the game of week. The outcome as we now know did not go in favor of the Irish. Michigan’s QB Tommy Harmon….I mean Devin Gardner sporting #98 in honor of the former (Tom Harmon, 1940 Heisman trophy winner for Michigan) was a man child in the first half. Touchdown Tommy Reese reverted to Turnover Tommy tossing a couple of untimely picks to the maize and blue. Big Blue stormed out to a 14 point halftime lead leaving most of the crowd at DB&G wallowing in their cups at halftime. However, the Fighting Irish made a game of it in the second half lifting our spirits, literally and figuratively only to come up 11 points short when all was said in done. Therefore, we proceeded to drown our sorrows and listened to a fitting tribute for Danny Boy at the Tailgate.

Is there a game or something going on?

Around the Country - No FCS over FBS upsets this week like last week, however there were a number of shockers to keep things interesting.

The Canes are back in the Sunshine State! Coach Al Golden, sporting a new hair-weave and the U chomped down on the Gator offense and delivered the biggest victory in the last 10 years for the Hurricanes. Oh how the Gator faithful miss Urban and Stevey Superior. Two big wins in 2 weeks for the ACC over the SEC. On Friday night, The Boston College Eagles continued their resurgence under new Coach Steve “Dude” Addazio notching their second win of the season over those little Lucifer Ministers from Wake Forest.

BC Tailgating legends Pops and Rick hosting their Wake Forest friends

Big 10
The Fighting Illini chowed down on the unfortunate Munchie Legeaux led Cincinnati Bearcats. Our boy Munchie suffered a season ending Joe Thiesmanesque gruesome leg injury. Get well Munchie, we will miss just printing your name each week. It is said that lightning never strikes twice. Well try to tell that to Tom Izzo and the student body from East Lansing Michigan. For the second week in a row, the Michigan State Spartans experienced a severe lightning game delay. Legendary MSU basketball coach Tom Izzo had to coax the stubborn students out of the stands to safety by promising to chillax with them in their seats when the game resumed. He is a man of his word as he did just that as the Spartans and their inept offense squeaked out a 21 -7 victory over an inferior South Florida squad. Penn State Freshman QB Christian Hackenburg led the re-energized Penn State Nittany Lions over Eastern Michigan to go 2-0. The Purple Cats from Northwestern racked up their second win of the season over the Cuze and Nebraska put up a double nickel plus a penny on the Southern Miss boys.  Navy ran the picket fence on Jimmy Chitwood and the Hoosiers and were victorious in battle.

Big 12
In a rematch of one of the gaudiest statistically offensive games from 2012 (1500 combined yards), the Sooner and Mountaineer offenses forget to dress for the game leaving the two teams to battle out a defensive snorer with OU coming out on top 16 -7. I can hear JR Ewing calling for Mac Brown’s head from the grave as the Longhorns were roped by the BYU Cougars in that rarified Provo air. The rest of the Big 12 teams lined up against FCS or non AQ FBS teams and came out with the expected outcomes. Oh yeah, you might have heard about some alleged violations at Mrs. Tailgate’s Alma Matter in Stillwater. She claims no knowledge of any of that activity and states that the world just has T. Boone Envy.

PAC 12
How cool was it to watch Stain Kiffin lose to Mike Leach and the Wazoo Cougs? If it is any indication of his likeability, even his own Dad quit on him after last year. The Ducks flew into the school of Thomas Jefferson and out swash buckled the Cavaliers 59 -10. Kevin Hogan and the Stanford Cardinal were just too much for their neighbors from San Jose State in the Bill Walsh classic. Both David Fales from SJSU and Kevin Hogan will be making their living on Sundays in the years to come. U of A and Oregon State take down their opponents from the Mountain West Conference. 

The new Tillman Tunnel at ASU. Very Cool!
The Georgia Bulldawgz took a bite out of the Game Hens and the Ole Head Ball Coach from South Carolina. Mister Clowney again had another pedestrian performance in defeat. The rest of the SEC took their annual week off from real competition by beating up on FCS and Non AQ FBS teams. Oh, and I will not even mention the name of a certain pimply faced spoiled Brat of a QB from College Station, TX. May the Tide Roll him next week.

Beiber Award

 Delayed after a week of pondering this, we have a repeat awardee this year already: The NCAA. This time, their action is the “dry hump” of a penalty slapped on one Johhny Manzit for his alleged profiting from his John Hancock.  By now, we all know the punishment assessed to CFB’s bad boy was to sit out the first half of the A&M – Rice game in week 1. Okay, he is either guilty or he is not. Which one is it oh you wise elders in the NCAA ivory tower?  Look, if you have proof, suspend his acne laden face for the season. We have no problem if that is the rule. However, since it was stated that you did not have definitive proof, than what the heck is a half game suspension?  That is like punishing your teenager for an adolescent infraction by telling them they can’t go out until 10 PM this Friday night. As is typical, the NCAA has become a microcosm of our government wanting to control more and more aspects of our lives than they are capable of doing.  Hey, I have an idea: Next time enlist the support of the NSA to put a drone on Mr. Football and follow him around. Then you will have the proof you seek.

Pick the winning score for the game of the week:

Primary – Iowa v Iowa State
Secondary – Alabama v Johnny Manzit

Congratulations to Patsy Doherty for winning last week’s competition and a beautiful DFT T- shirt by picking Michigan over ND and Stanford over SJSU.

Miscellaneous - Southern Living Magazine is having an online contest to vote for your favorite Tailgate experience in the South. 15 schools are listed. Be sure to cast your vote.  Here is the link: www.southernliving/tailgate
Next week the Tailgate will be on the road to witness the battle of Iowa in Ames as the Iowa State Cyclones host the Hawkeyes from the University of Iowa. I am pretty sure the whole state will shut down for this as there will be nothing else going on in the corn fields that day.

Happy Tailgating!