Sunday, September 22, 2013

Week 4 – Ye I walk through the Central Valley of the shadow of death…

Tailgate update – We loaded up the appropriate Tailgate necessities in Dru’s F150 on Friday afternoon and left the Bay Area for the browner pastures of California’s Central Valley for the Boise State – Fresno game. “Good Time” Reinke and Gas Man Gary met up with us to kick off week four of the season. For the first time in a decade, Fresno State was favored to win this game. We set up our pre game Tailgate at a choice park across the street from campus and unfurled the new DFT banner for the first time, courtesy of BLR Signs (

The Boys getting the Tailgate going.

The charcoals were lit and we grilled a smorgasbord of previously living creatures; Shrimp, Scallops, Teriyaki chicken thighs and spice rubbed pork cutlets. 

How many Tailgaters does it take to grill......

Former Boise State QB from 1981 – 1984 Gerald Depres and his crew parked next to us and joined our tailgate for a while.  It turns out that he and Dru played against each other back in the day before the field was blue and hitting was allowed during the game. The embellishments these two characters exchanged about their on- field prowess….I’m telling you!

                                              That Was then..........

Cal Poly Nose Guard Drubaca Manor 1984
Boise State QB Gerald Depres 1984

                                                                  This is now!
Yeah, they still look the same
We were also joined by three Boise diehards that flew in for the game, Brothers Andy and Don and their buddy Aaron. Some local named Don Julio made a brief appearance at our tailgate.

As we made our way into the stadium with me representing the Blue, we realized that the majority of the fans were not your typical college football crowd. This was not a good thing, so let me explain; the largest Mexican drug gang in the Central valley is named after the FSU Bulldogs. They wear the same colors and have the same mascot. In hindsight, I would have been granted safe passage had I adorned the proper colors.  Or perhaps I should have contracted with Napoleon Dynamite’s buddy Pedro, “he offers you his protection”. 

He has my vote!

Well it seems that these fine upstanding wards of the Central Valley represented a large chunk of the bandwagon riding fan base that had Bulldog Stadium near capacity for the first time since they were last relevant. Throughout all my College football gallivanting, I have never been concerned about my safety or well-being. I can’t claim that distinction anymore. Having scholars who have only ever graduated from State Institutions of the felonious flavor decry who they think is number one with both hands in your face and one digit upright on each can be a real pleasure.  I also particularly enjoyed the Madonna/Michael Jackson crotch grab celebration too. Another man amongst the people was a 5 X 5 weeble adorned in gold chains and a #4 jersey with shorts all the way to his ankles who attempted to engage me in a conversation on the finer points of the game. I replied that I did not speak moron and preferred to watch the game in peace and serenity. I am pretty confident he is back to cashing in his EBT cards for smokes, ice cold fortys and a lottery ticket today. He is this week’s Beiber award winner. 
Tailgate Bulldog Style!
The best dressed fan was one banger wannabe with his pants starting at the knees with his bloomers for all to see. Oh yeah, he had a gold toothus grill and sideways “Beiber snap back cap” on for sun protection I suppose.   

Nice look. Another zero and your IQ will be in the double digits.

My perception is that these are classless, tasteless people who know zero about college football. Where were they two years ago when I came to this game to a half empty stadium? Now, not all Fresno fans were bad, but we were surrounded by those that I described. I do not recommend anyone going to a game here because it is not your true CFB vibe. Oh I almost forgot, Fresno won 41 -40 behind David Carr’s little brother Derick’s 400+ yard night. The talent level at Boise is just not what it used to be right now.

Take a listen to the General as he describes the Fresno Fan base.

Pants on the ground

Around the Country – ESPN College Gameday traveled to Fargo, ND home of back to back FCS D1 AA Champion North Dakota State. You betcha Marge! And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper? Jerry Lundegaard can hook you up with a sweet ride at the dealership if you so desire. What a cool back drop on Main Street with the entire State of ND out in full force to see the extravaganza. 

oh you betcha!

You want that sheen protection on your car?

Bizzon Baumgartner expresses her wishes

In a triple overtime thrilla, The VA tech Hokies rained down a victory on the Thundering Herd from Marshall.  No literally,  it did rain down all day, sending one unnamed brother of mine home long before the game ended because he was a little wet and chilly. 
A pic from "The Stain in the rain at Lane"
Is Maryland for real? A 37 - 0 smack around of the Mountaineers and a 4 - 0 start would indicate that they are for real girl. The Fighting Irish had a knock down drag out brawl with Sparty in South Bend scoring a TKO 17 - 13.  #1 Bama rolled the Rams from Fort Collins in a lackluster performance at Bryant Denny. No, Nick is not leaving for Austin….just yet. San Jose State traveled to the Twin Cities and got put in a Gopher hole by Minny Soda. Lone Stiffin keeps his job again by pulling one out in the Coliseum against the Aggies from Logan, Utah.  Another guy on double secret probation secured his employment for one more week in Austin as the Mack attack beat down the Jayhawks and Bill Snyder. In a battle of two teams from the Lonestar State, Johnny A&M corrals the Mustangs of SMU in a lopsided victory. The Badgers simmered the Boilermakers in a Big Ten Showdown.  In San Diego, the Orgeon State Beavers gnawed their way back to a win after sacrificing the first half and falling way behind to the Aztecs. 
Picture courtesy of some guy with a Mullet at Qualcomm
LSU’s offense may be as good now as it was when Everybody’s All American Dennis Quaid, The Gray Ghost was moving the yard sticks at night in Death Valley. The Tigers clawed the Tigers in a cat fight at night and won 35 – 21.  Try to decipher that gibberish! 
The Gray Ghost popularized night games at Death Valley
What is going on with #98 and the Michigan Wolverines?  For the second week in a row they barely escaped over a team that should not even be in the same zip code with them on game day. Army and Air Force go down in flames as sequestration has clearly had an impact on their firepower this season. In the holy war on Promontory Point, The Utes edged out the BYU Cougs 20 -13. In the game where my man card was put on probation (I bailed), Stanford held on to win 42 – 28 over ASU after racing out to a 27 point halftime lead.

Commentary – I have been asked frequently on where I come out on the issue of college football players getting paid. So here goes, I am first and foremost a capitalist with strong laissez faire fiscal leanings. I fault no man for making a buck. That being said, I must balance that philosophy with being a fan of the greatest amateur sport on earth. I would want to protect many of the things that make the game what it is today.  Student athletes on scholarship are getting paid upwards of $200 large for a four year education, so let’s not overlook that little tidbit. However, I do think the NCAA is hypocritical in their stance on student athletes earning a few sheckles when the sport is so lucrative. So here is what I propose:

·         Student athletes can earn some extra beer money by signing autographs for coin. Never thought I would agree with Johnny Arrogance on anything.

·         Players can sell rings and jerseys for tattoos if they want to. Terrelle Pryor you are now vindicated.

·         The NCAA needs to lighten up on some of their legislation on recruiting such as a coach buying a prospect lunch, or a recruit sleeping on a current players couch. Specifically the idiots who punished Boise State for that infraction yet let Auburn and Cam Newton get away with the Price is Right scandal need to chill.

·         Colleges and Boosters should not pay Student athletes to play nor should they buy Mamma a house or give them a fancy auto to cruise campus in. Correct, Pete Carroll and Reggie Bush are still guilty in the law of DFT.

·         Colleges under no circumstances should hire professional escorts to “escort” recruits on their visits. It is demeaning to the fathers of these young ladies. I would have never married anyone from such an institution that would do this.

So there you have it, so stop asking me what I think.

Next week the Tailgate heads to Boise to reunite with my firstborn  and take in the Boise State – Southern Miss game Saturday night.  
Mommy, why can't you dress me like the other girls?
The uber conservative city of Boise has lifted its ban on public drinking on game day throughout areas around the campus. And I always adhere to rules and regulations so this will be a first for me.

Happy tailgating!