Sunday, November 24, 2013

Week 13 - All the leaves are brown

As Jennifer Lawrence got over her uh uh uh uh gas problem prior to the release of “Catching Fire” (thank goodness), there was serious pigskin being played around the nation. But first on a more somber note, this was the 50th anniversary of the assassination of JFK. As it turns out, JFK was quite the College Football fan and was known to be in the hip pocket of the Navy football team led by Roger Staubach in 63. He was a Naval Academy graduate and felt a close affection for that team. There was a book written titled President’s Team by Michael Connelly regarding this subject.

The King of Camelot making sure the coin toss goes Navy's way
While most of the country was under an extreme cold snap, shoveling snow and wearing their parkas, the Tailgate was concerned about finding sun screen and staying hydrated. A few of my friends had something to say about it:


Friday night found the Tailgate in the familiar confines of the Stadium lot at San Jose State.  Joining the Tailgate were Rowdy Randy Habrl and Ken from Ken and Barbie fame.  A great pre game tailgate we had here, with Sis’s beer brats, red hots, beans, bourbon and beer! My ears are still ringing from Disco Jonny across from us in the lot sharing his noise with all to hear via his gang banger speakers at F-18 fighter jet decibel levels. As usual the Cheerleaders stopped in to say hi and spread their cheer.  A former SJSU All American from the early 70’s visited our tent as well as a group of Navy fans adjacent to us. As a matter of fact Rowdy Randy made friends with about anyone who walked by so we met all kinds of new peeps.

Ken and Rowdy Randy living out a fantasy
The boys manning the shop

Burning up animal product
 Navy dropped anchor at Spartan Stadium and would do battle with the Spartans on this beautiful California night in the city of invention. The crowd was almost half Navy with 17,000 in attendance. The game itself was a three overtime thriller with both offenses racking up massive yardage.  SJSU’s golden boy QB David Fales threw for over 400 yards and 5 TDs. Navy QB Keenan Reynolds ran for 240 of his team’s 432 yards on the ground. The second half had numerous lead changes and momentum shifts as each team would trade off go ahead scores. With 9 minutes to go, Ken who happens to be a Cal season ticket holder got a text from Barbie insisting he come home now to take her shopping. We told him this is not a Cal game, we actually stay to the end because this is what competitive football looks like. Humiliated, he stayed to avoid further ridicule from the Spartan crowd. The difference in the end being that SJSU had no answer for Navy’s potent triple option offense. Navy wins 58 -52.

Saturday morning we vacated DFT HQ and rolled over to Palo Alto for the “Big Lame” between Cal and Stanford. This would be the 113th time these two rivals met on the gridiron. Barbie let Ken out for the second Day in a row and his handler Downtown Gilly Brown was in the entourage. Tomato juice product was sampled along with a very brief Tailgate. Stanford stadium, originally built in 1921 was demolished after the 2005 season and was completely rebuilt in 10 months. It had been one of the biggest dumps of all the college stadiums. It is now one of the nicest stadiums in the country.  Everyone has a real seat, not a bench and there is not a bad view in the house. Current capacity is 50,000. That being said we happened to have tickets in the same row as the weeble family who did not want to share space with us. The game was a lopsided blowout with Stanford winning 63 -13. Stanford’s Ty Montgomery scored 5 touchdowns in the first half helping the Cardinal climb back into Rose Bowl consideration.

Ken and Gilly hosting a true Tailgate
The Entourage

Around the Country – In MACtion on Wednesday night, NIU and the Lynch Mob hung up big points on Toledo and stays perfect for the year. In Conference USA action, another smart school is quietly having a great year; the Rice Owls. Who gives a hoot one might ask? Well I do and let’s give them props as they beat UAB for their 8th win of the year. In the Mountain West Fresno State and the Carr Show breaks bad with a win over Heisenberg and Pinkman’s boys from the ABQ. Did anyone see the UNLV game at Colorado Springs on Thursday night? Had to be the coldest looking game of the year. Brace yourself folks, with that win the Running Rebs are bowl eligible. Yes I said the Running Rebs. Only a few brave cadets managed to stick around to watch.  In the American conference, the Cincinnati Tubbervilles get the best of the Cougars from the Lone Star State for their 9th win of the year. Teddy Bridge “over troubled” water and the Louisville Cards barely beat the lowly Memphis Tigers.

On to the power conferences: In ACC action apparently infamous Jameis Winston had an ineligible receiver down field and a yellow flag will be thrown at him shortly. Yes, I hear about the timing of this accusation being suspect, and it is. Nonetheless, if these charges are true he has the movie The Longest Yard to look to for inspiration. Mean machine, Mean Machine! I guess FSU does in fact stand for Felonious State University just like the old days. However, Rape is a lot more serious than some of the crap they got away under Warden Bowden. The Tailgate will not judge this kid just yet. We will let the legal system play this one out. 

Jameis Sandler?
In the ACC on field action, Duke notches their 9th win of the year against Wake and BC sez “Fear the Eagle” in College Park against Edsel’s Turtles. DFT loyalists were at that game repping both teams. 
Fear the TerpEagle!
Out on the left coast, Oregon doesn't fare well in the desert climate as Ka’Deem Carey and the Cats drowned the ducks 42 -16. Duck Soup for the losers Soul? ASU takes control of the PAC 12 south with a hard fought victory over those gutty little Bruins in Pasadena. UCLA said you don’t know Jack and ASU said we don’t care to, holding Miles to a pedestrian 86 yards.  Let’s give an atta boy to that lecherous Leach in the Palouse for making the Cougars Bowl Eligible after only 2 years at the helm of one of the worst teams over the last decade. Leach and the Cougs took the Utes to the Wood shed….. err equipment shed? 

ESPN College Gameday made its way to Mrs. Tailgate’s Alma Matter on Saturday. It has been said that one should never poke the bear.  The Dancing Gundys of Stillwater did not heed that advice as they poked and poked and poked and ultimately humiliated the previously 3rd ranked Bears on the plains of Oklahoma 49 -17. Coach Briles was given an Art lesson that he will never forget. That song by John Denver about “Almost Heaven” just really irks the hell out of the Cowpoke faithful even more now. Remember the massacre in Morgantown?  Oh hell, just teach me how to Gundy would you?

Lauren Lu a Sooner in disguise spying on Ok State

In the Big Ten on the frozen tundras, Wisconsin Kills Jerry and the Gophers and Iowa rallies from 2 scores down to deliver the Wolverines another L at Kinnick stadium.  It will be Ohio State and Michigan State in the Big Ten Ship in 2 weeks.  Down South in the SEC, FCS school Georgia Southern swamps the Florida Gators in the swamp making Will Muschump the odds on Vegas favorite to be the first SEC firing of the year. Johnny Drama ate lots of Tiger grass in Baton Rouge as the Bayou Bengals delivered a big bowl of shut your mouth soup to the A&M Aggies. Mizzou goes into the Grove down in Oxford and comes away with the win and the SEC East title in their sights. In the war of theology, the Catholics’ prayers were answered as the Novena proves to be more powerful than the looking glass of Joe Joe Smiddy. Deciphered this means Notre Dame beats BYU.

Bieber award - goes to DeAnthony Thomas of Oregon, AKA The Black Mamba. Just two weeks ago he ran his mouth and said the Ducks would put up 40 or more on Stanford. Not sure that worked out very well for him. This past week Mr. Mamba was quoted saying that the Ducks are not interested in the Rose Bowl. “Been there done that” he said.  Well guess what BM, your wish is granted. Have fun at the Godaddy instead of the Granddaddy of them all.  Be careful what you wish for, it's all about perspective.
Snoop Doggy Deanthony

This week – The Tailgate will join forces with the Iorio clan to host the biannual Notre Dame  - Stanford Tailgate down on the farm in Palo Alto.

Happy Tailgating!