Sunday, September 14, 2014

Week 3 - And The Caissons Go Stalling Along

Tailgate or bust in the EM 50 Urban Assault Vehicle!

The Tailgate loaded up the Urban Assault Vehicle for the one hour trip across the Bay to pay homage to the Army Black Knights who were invading the Stanford campus on this Chamber of Commerce Saturday. Upon pulling into our Tailgate lot, we were informed that we were in the Media lot and would need Press credentials. We responded that we were DFT bloggers and demanded respect. The bewildered gate lady acquiesced and allowed us to enter. Adorned in our Army colors we drove into the Grove looking for other Army fans pre gaming. They were so stealth that we could not find any. It turns out that Madame’s Pelosi and Feinstein with their disdain for the Military, would not allow any Army folk onto the grounds of one of their hallowed institutions. Okay maybe that sentence is only partially true. During the midst of our Gate, We were accosted by a guy raising money for alcohol and substance abuse. As the Toby Keith song Red Solo Cup blared from our speakers and with Mrs. Tailgate mixing up a batch of Bloody Marys, we felt it appropriate to provide him alms for our shameful ways. For Tailgate Chow, Mrs. Tailgate made us a batch of the most awesome lamb patty sliders, accompanied by sausages, chicken drumsticks and grilled veggies from our guests Monica and Sleepy Mike Rabago. A surprise visit at the Gate was paid to us by Drubaca and his loyal Sidekick Stanky Reinke as they were thirsty and looking for liquid.

The Fearsome Foursome

The Tailgating Rabagos


As far as the game goes, the highlight was scoring tickets for $5 each. With Army’s new Big Toe Paul Monken at the helm, the Black Knights were expected to give Stanford a game after all the “Armeeeeeeeeeeeeee Training Sir” they had been through. It was not to be, as the Stanford Tree completely thwarted back the Army attack and threw up thirty five unanswered points with a balanced ground and aerial attack for a shutout victory. The Tailgate was highly disappointed in the lack of turnout for Army fans with the stadium being only half full. Senator Boxer and Governor Brown also banned the F18 flyover and the cadet march. They didn’t want any Non- American to be offended by such a display of might. Okay, only partially true again. Just needed an explanation for all the no shows. 

Met up with DFT veterans Octavio Ricart and Drubaca


Our boy Sleepy was really into the game

His excitement was evident all the way home

Around the Country –
Upset week in the ACC – VA Tech, perhaps still hungover from the big win in Columbus last week were sunk by the ECU Purple Pirates in Blacksburg. The Wahoos of Charlottesville, VA had their biggest home win since Jefferson became President as they topped nationally ranked Louisville at Scott Stadium. The biggest upset in the ACC took place in Chestnut Hill, MA in the rain where the upstart BC Eagles upset the mighty men of Troy.

DFTers at the BC/USC game
In Big 12 , Big Ten country and the PAC 12 (that should be 34 teams but it is not), The Big Ten continues to struggle against non-conference opponents as Illinois gets smoked by Washington and the Gophers get Toadally wasted by the Horned Frogs. Iowa State resurrected their season with a big win over arch rival Iowa in Iowa City at Kinnick Stadium. Allegedly there was lots of wood brought in that one.  In one of the more exciting games of the day, the Mountain Men of Morgantown held on to outpace the Turtles from College Park, MD. How weird is it that that these two teams are part of the Big 12 and Big Ten now?  Notre Dame knocked off in state rival in the Shamrock Series at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indy. In Norman, Ok the most anticipated game of the weekend had the Sooners boat race the Vols 35 -10 to cover the Vegas spread of 20.5. If I have to hear Herbie or any other announce repeatedly cry that Tennessee is so young, I will make them my next Bieber. DON”T CHEAPEN A WIN! UCLA escaped from Jerry World with a narrow win over the downtrodden and not yet Strong Longhorns. Heisman hopeful Todd Hundley left the game early with an elbow injury. Little Ricky Neusheisiel Jr. led the little bears to glorious victory. 
They striped the stadium at OU and #2 stayed past halftime game.

DFT groupies at Jerry World

Another creepy old dude invading lovelytown

Down South in the SEC, the Gators escaped the lowly Kentucky Wildcats in the Swamp by six, leading the nation to conclude that Coach Will Muschamp will possess and EBT card by December.  Arkansas gets an impressive win over Texas Tech and Coach Metro Cliffy in Lubbock. The Ole Ball Coach and his Gamecocks fooled us all once again by continuing to own Coach Mark Richt and his permanent tan over what appears to be an overrated Bulldawg squad.

Bieber Award - what’s worse: beating your wife unconscious or beating your kid bloody? An unprecedented first at DFT as we have co awardees this week in Messer’s Rice and Petersen for the above offenses. I think by now we have all seen the video in the elevator and all the opinions on the incident. Where is his wife’s Dad or male relatives in all this? $$$$$$$$$$$$. And Mister All DAY Petersen, I don’t care if you discipline your kids, but taking a switch to your four year old until he needed medical treatment? You both displayed Bieberodious behavior to the extreme. You both played College football and are fair game for this prestigious award.  So accept it with pride you steroid infused cretins.

Next week, the Tailgate schedule is undecided. We may possibly be going to the SAC State game. Will Tweet it out by midweek @dantailgater. Send me your Tailgate pictures as you see I will post the interesting ones as determined by me and me alone!

Saturday Twitter activity:

Happy Tailgating!