The alcohol content in Idaho for beer has got be higher than it is in California. That is the only way I can explain the making of Dumb and Dumber 3, at least half of it. So first the story of Dumb as played by yours truly: As we were about to enter the stadium for game time (after 4 hours of trunk gating) I asked my beloved Amy to give me the tickets. And she said “Why dear you have the tickets”. My response: “Woman, you have them, they are in your purse, now produce them! After several minutes of Amy frantically looking in her “satchel”, I stuck my hands in my pockets and what to my surprise did I produce, yes you got it right... the tickets! The story gets better as we assembled inside with our fellow Trunk Gaters (more on that later). I pulled out the tickets and became confused. I had 2 tickets not sitting together for me and Amy in a different section from our friends that were $15 more than what I remembered paying. After studying the tickets for several minutes it was pointed out to me that these tickets were the ones I had purchased earlier in the day for the game between Boise and Fresno on November 19. Thoroughly humbled I swore off any more high content Boise beer for the rest of my trip!
Now the story of Dumber (Who by the way took great joy in watching my difficulties with tickets) played by “KG”. We arrived at the airport to fly to Boise Friday morning to meet our daughter for parent’s weekend. Upon arrival I receive a text from fellow tailgater and Boise parent “KG” (Real name won’t be revealed for fear of such pain and anguish to be borne by him) stating that he would not be on our flight and would be flying out that evening because of a so called work conflict. After dinner with our lovely daughter, we awaited with great anticipation for the arrival of KG. Last we heard he was at the Oakland Airport enjoying a beer prior to his flight. Next time I hear from him he said he missed his %$#&ing flight and would not arrive until Saturday afternoon. He blamed his mishap on a faulty departure board at Oakland International that he claims said his flight was delayed. He insists that he went to the gate at the new boarding time only to learn that his plane departed on time and he was laughed at by the gate agents, cleaning crew, class bullies and TSA employees. However, upon further consultation with fellow frequent travelers who were at Oakland airport Friday night, Kevin (oops I promised not to state his name!!!) er uh KG, was spotted in the bar at the Oakland airport screaming at the TV as the SF Giants proceeded to blow a 4 run lead in the 6th to the Braves in the national league playoffs. Now mind you this was 5 minutes prior to his flight departing. He was spotted in the same bar 45 minutes later still screaming at the TV. KG, I know what I want to believe and the real truth to your absence on your scheduled flight!
On to the Trunk gating and game; Beautiful day in Boise, great atmosphere, sellout crowd, homecoming parade, first time at the Stadium of Blue Smurf Turf for me. Good festivities in the parking lot on the east side of the stadium. RV’s and vehicles were original but not on the same scale as those seen at LSU and Ohio State. We stored a few boxes of cold ones in the trunk and roamed the lot talking to fellow tail gaters and tuning in to the Alabama Carolina game on every flat screen we saw. The game itself was a thumping. I don’t care what the critics say, Boise is just flat out good and something special this year. I have something to say about that in gripe of the week. The blue turf, the fired up fans, students, parents and townies all united to rooting on the mighty Broncos. I am honored to have the opportunity to be a parental shareholder of the team this year and hopefully for years to come!
Around the country - Now Bama joins the rest of the SEC in my view as being overrated this year (I know there are a number of SEC readers of this blog, calm down I gave credit in past years but this year your strong teams are average). Let’s face it LSU in the top 10 and it took a math error last week to beat a poor Tennessee team? I am tired of hearing about the SEC as such a tough conference. Just not true this year. Oregon destroyed Tennessee several weeks ago (by the way Boise beat Oregon in 08 & 09..just reminding you folks) and LSU barely beats them and is in the top 10? Give me a break, I can think of 20 teams that would whip the tigers this year. And I have much respect for the history of LSU, the fans and the stadium but they are living on 9 lives this year and do not belong with the elite. Oh and the Big Least getting an auto BCS birth..Please! Not one team in the Big Least could play with Boise or TCU this year. In the battle of the state of Michigan (no I am not referring to the Islamists in Dearborn who are trying to impose Sharia law on its citizens), MSU bested Dennard, Rich Rod and the boys from Ann Arbor. Now can Big Blue regroup or will they start the slide we saw last year? Props to Terrelle Pryor for a big game. And Joe Pa, if you can hear them don’t listen to the fans about you needing to go…no, not to the bathroom in the middle of the game as you were filmed trotting to 3 years ago, but they mean you stepping down. I mean losing to the State of Illinois is not that embarrassing, considering Blago just did the same and he still holds his head (and hair) up high. A salute to the service academies for going 3 -0 this weekend. Brian Kelly, you just won 2 games that Charlie front butt would have lost the last 2 years. I am liking the progress I am seeing from the Irish. Mark May of ESPN did you say something? Pittsburgh what? I will address you below. As much as the pundits want them to be good, the U is not and will never be the U again. Florida State is on the rise again and there was not even a chance for a “wide right” mishap this year dagummitt! Oregon State knocking down the cats in the dessert was most impressive. Yeah the State of New Mexico finally got a win, albeit against itself. Fellow tailgater DQ reported the tailgating was outstanding amid the cactus in Tucson. VIP tailgater Big Dru was heard doing a Chewbacca roar all the way from Reno while watching the SJSU Spartans go down in a valiant effort against the running Kaperniks of Nevada. Congratulations to Texas for not losing this week…oh wait, they had the week off, that explains it.
In what was probably the game of the week, Stanford taking down SC and the Trojan faithful with no time left on the clock. After the game as the opposing coaches met at the 50, Lame Kiffin was heard quoting the venerable Pete Carroll to Jim Harbaugh “ You Okay Jim?” Okay, my prediction is the coliseum will be half empty for their next home game as we know LA only loves a winner. Snoop Dog Marcus, and the Hollyweird crowd where are you this year?
Gripe of the week – This one is easy. It was best summed up as painted on one of the best Tailgating rigs in the Boise State parking lot “SCREW YOU MARK MAY”. As a lifetime Washington Redskin fan I used to cheer on this former “Head Hog” as he anchored the mighty O line for the skins in the glory years. But now Mr. May you are a pompous A-hole (yes capital A). You are bitter because your Alma (doesn’t) Matter is in the Big Least and you just lost to Notre Dame and Lou Holtz sprayed you with slobber from his excitement. You continue to put down Boise as someone who plays nobody. You always put down Notre Dame. By the end of the season, both ND and Boise will have beaten more top 25 teams than the entire Big Least. Also get over yourself, the so called dominant conferences you promote are not dominant this year. Are Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi and Vanderbilt ferocious? Penn State, Minnesota and Purdue are terrifying this year aren’t they? What happened to Texas? Mark, your anger is about to put you in the unemployment line real soon. Your act is tired. So my advice to you is fly out to Boise and spend a weekend with the good folks of BSU and you too will be drinking the Blue Smurf Turf Kool Aid!
Next week’s tailgate will be live at the annual SJSU men of Laurelgen bash. We will be in the grass lot by Spartan stadium at 12 :15 pouring trumer pilsner, beer brats and an assortment of grillable Hormel meat products. Come by for a keg stand or two with the old guy’s!